Cape Point Chronicle Exclusive- Capri SRA looking to up its game

It has come to the attention of the Cape Point Chronicle that the residents of Capri are less than satisfied with the prospect of gaining SRA status for the area. The major resistance is the extra levy on their rates. In an attempt to make the proposal more appealing to all residents the committee is looking into the possibility of creating an independent state.

At present this is only on the drawing board. The proposal would see a border fence being errected around the area regularly patrolled by the Capri Regulars Assistant Police. Of course, the fence is only designed to keep out baboons, and will therefore be 4 meters high on the mountain side and 10 meters high with barbed wire and machine gun posts down Kommetjie Road. The only border post will be on Kommetjie Road, non-citizens will require a visa to enter, although these will be available at the post.

It is hoped that this proposal will placate those who do not want to pay the levy as all taxes will go directly to Capri rather than any other areas (particulary those who do not pay rates- mentioning no names, but waving arms in general direction down hill).

At present a government structure has not being finalized, some on the committee are putting forward a motion to have an absolute monarchy, others favour the Zimbabwe (they call it Rhodesia) model of democracy.

This will be a long road, and the residents committee is only on the first step, however, they are already proposing renaming streets after struggle heroes in the fight for freedom (Clive Byrne Boulevard, Tony Fernandez Avenue).

Cape Point Chronicle will keep in contact with the mole in the organization and keep you posted with developments- it seems likely that if Capri is successful then other areas will follow suit and join the Republic of Hout Bay and Capri in gaining independence from South Africa.

Happy April 1st ; )

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